by Chelsea Carter

Photo via: Instagram @topshop

Photo via: Instagram @topshop

Kendall Jenner is that new girl at school that you kinda feel sorry for because she doesn’t quite understand the rules of the playground. She’s doesn’t seem weird and more importantly, she’s pretty. But – through no fault of her own – she doesn’t realise that you don’t use the toilets in the Math’s Block and the kids that do drama are friendly but it’s complete social suicide to acknowledge them. Seriously, don’t.

Cara takes her under her wing, like the kind yet ultimately naive person she is (yet not quite kind and naive enough to accept the drama kids. Social suicide, duh?). She wants to show her the ropes as she feels like she knows the place well enough, she has made down-to-earth, good, honest, reliable friends, and wants to give Kendall this gift too. And, Kendall wants to know everyone; what the gossip is, what kind of grades do they get, what does Cara think of them? Did they pee themselves at Primary School? Their darkest secrets? Kendall wants to know.

So, they become closer.  They have the same classes. They meet for lunch. They have sleepovers on Friday nights and go to the mall on Saturdays. Teachers and parents would use the phrase inseparable. Cara still only feels sorry for Kendall, that’s all.

But, it’s half term. Because Cara spent all her time with Kendall, she’s made no plans with all her old friends. Those guys that took her in when she was a normal, pretty, newbie. Luckily, there’s a party and they’re all invited. “Hey, what could go wrong?!” thinks Cara. Kendall wags her tail. Or something.

So, here they are, the party of the term. Cara, Kendall. Cara’s mates: Daisy, Alexa, Pixie. They’re all sitting together. “Finally!” Thinks Cara. Kendall’s tail is wagging; “I mean, my sister, I mean, like, sister number 1, or 2. I can’t tell them apart, like anyway, she was all like, you soooooo wouldn’t get invited to this party and I was like shut up Number 2, or 1, or whichever one you are! Are you the one with that baby? No not those babies! You know the one with Kanye West. Yeah that one. He’s sooooooo cool. Yeah. That baby is soooooo cool. When she had that tantrum at that other party, it was like, soooooooo cute. Should I have one? Not a baby, dummy (although that would be soooooo cool)! A tantrum! Wouldn’t that be sooooooo cool?!” she says. Or something.

Cara laughs, big and wide. Kendall, Pixie, Alexa, Daisy. They’re all here together with their kooky names and shiny hair. But, what’s this? Pixie is pouting, Daisy has her Raybans on inside? Hey, that’s normal… But… Alexa; Queen Bee of the Frow is drinking a latte? Hello, Alexa! 2007 called! Britney Spears is wants her fat-laced caffeine hit back! God, why couldn’t she get a Green Tea like a normal human? She looks shocked. She know’s that Cara knows. This must be why Pixie pouts! This is why Daisy wears sunglasses inside! They know the milky shame Alexa holds in that oh so simple looking cup. How can Cara ever trust her again? She focuses back in on Kendall who’s wagging her tail still. Just laugh. Big and wide.

“I was all like you can’t just break the internet number 1 or 2, loads of tiny Asian people have worked really, really hard on that and hey – should I put that on instagram? That’s like so a worthy cause. Where can I take a picture of the internet?” Or something.

Disclaimer: Sorry, guys. I wish I was your friend.